I try really really hard to not sound like one of those bloggers that has an epiphany in every post, because frankly I don't. I think all of us imagined that at 25 we would have our life in order - know exactly what we are doing in our job, have love on lock down, and be financially responsible. Well, I think I'm on the right track of figuring out my job even though I frequently receive questions that I have to give some consideration. I don't have all of those answers figured out yet. As far as financial responsibility, I know I am getting better. Budgeting has become a habit for me, which I think is something grown-ups do, right? But love is a totally different ballgame for me and I did have an epiphany over the weekend.
Obviously, I don't focus on my personal relationships on this blog because it is not a personal blog. I hope by now you all have realized this blog is all about you, but this was just too good not to share!
Last year, I ended a long-term relationship. And by "I ended," I mean "he ended." In all fairness to justify even more than I don't have frequent epiphanies, this break-up happened this time last year. I had some very low-points during the year. I could see changes in our relationship, but I thought we were just becoming better individuals. I was following my dreams, soon-to-be graduating with my Masters degree, job searching, and very unsure about where I would end up living. He was working full-time, was working on completing his Masters degree, but overall a little stuck in his current position. We worked things through together and everything was great, until one day it just stopped. Five years together and he stopped.
He found someone else and I was just supposed to accept the fact that my relationship with him was over. Again, it was a very hard year for me. There were nights that all I could do was cry. I threw myself into my work because it was all I had. I lived for the days I could fly out of town for a job interview. Finally, I moved and started my new life. I have been happy since then, but it wasn't until over this past weekend that I had my epiphany.
I woke up on Sunday morning knowing I had to do some work on my Macbook. It runs pretty slow so I decided to clear off so old files and came across a note I wrote to him years ago. I laughed while reading it because I realized how naive I was and how much I have grown since then. During the times I talked to him about our relationship ending he just kept saying we're different people, and he's right. I'm a better person than I was five years ago. I have realized more of what I want and have him to thank for helping me get to where I am today, but we didn't agree to be with each other as the people we are today.
We have both faced several major life events in the time we were together and we grew from those events, but overall we both have grown into better people. When we got together I had no idea I would be living somewhere else. Now I do and I love it. It's not fair to think we would be together forever whenever both of us changed so much over the course of time.
I laughed after reading the note because I know he is missing out on the great person I am today, but everything happens for a reason. We still talk occasionally and I don't really hold what he did against him anymore. There was no reason for me to keep than anger inside me whenever the rest of my life is going so well and I feel so happy.
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