5 THINGS I WISH I KNEW AS A MEMBER

A few months ago I did "5 Things I Wish I Knew As A New Member" and have since wanted to do a post about what I wish I knew about being a member. There were so many times that I felt completely lost and didn't know the best answer whenever I was a member dealing with some problem, but there are definitely things I wish I would have known at the time.

1 // No chapter is perfect.
This may seem like a big, resounding "duh" to most everyone, but I honestly didn't realize it until my senior year. Your chapter does have problems. Every chapter has problems. Even the most perfect chapter on your campus has some internal struggle they deal with. I think if I would have realized that earlier on than my senior year, my personal problems with my chapter would have been much easier to resolve.
My takeaway: I would have this ideal image in my head of what we should be like instead of focusing on fixing the issues. Once I finally realized this it was easy for me to work with others to fix and forgive our problems rather than playing the blame game.

2 // Not every member is a leader.
My argument for this was that sorority women are leaders. This is true... we are, but not every member has to be a leader in your chapter. There was one girl in my chapter that I used to get so frustrated with because she never ran for an office, but she had so much potential. We basically had to beg her to take on chair positions and she was great at them. Finally, she ran for E Board her senior year. This baffled me as someone who was on E Board every year. I didn't really take into consideration that she was always busy with her major and some other clubs on campus.
My takeaway: Not everyone has to be a leader in your chapter. That is why there are only so many positions available. Also, if you think someone should run for a position, tell them! They may not think they have the capabilities, but hearing that someone else thinks they do is a major ego boost.

3 // Sometimes advisors shouldn't be advisors.
My chapter had a variety of advisors - great advisors, heavily involved advisors, advisors you only saw once a year, advisors that got too involved, etc. Sometimes advisors pick favorites and that is fine as long as it doesn't interfere with the chapter's operations. If you ever feel like an advisor is being unfair to the chapter/doesn't have the chapter's best interest at heart, speak up. Tell the President (who has regular communications with Inter/National), tell another advisor, tell your campus advisor, whoever. It is hard to be committed to something if you feel as though someone is standing in your way.
My takeaway: This is your chapter. Not theirs. They do not have to deal with the repercussions of decisions like you do. Sometimes you have to do what you need to do. Don't be afraid. This is such a great example of a real world problem so make sure you work through it.

4 // Other chapters are for themselves.
I saw this great quote on Pinterest that says "People aren't against you, they are for themselves," which basically sums up chapter relations. When it comes to recruitment, intramural games, competitions, mixers, etc. other chapters are just trying to get the leg up on you to make themselves look better. Instead of getting mad at each other just realize that you are trying to do the same thing.
My takeaway: Realize that healthy competition is great! However, if it becomes unhealthy, don't be afraid to address it with the other chapter.

5 // This is FUN!
Admittedly, I knew this as a member, but sometimes we got a little carried away in terms of competition or recruitment and forgot that at the end of the day all of us joined to make our college experience more fun. Yes, you are going to get mad at each other, but remember that you are Sisters. Sisters fight, but they get over it because you still love each other.
My takeaway: When things get a little tense, organize a sisterhood event to help you remember why you joined in the first place.

I hope these tips help you out! Obviously, this is based on my experience and everyone's experience is different. So tell me, what do you wish you knew and what is your advice on how to resolve your problems? I look forward to seeing what you have to say!!